1. I have never been one to comment on how wonderful a pregnant lady (or really any lady or man) looks, but I must say that it makes me feel good when others tell me I look great for however many weeks pregnant I am or that I am a “compact pregnant person” despite the feeling that I am spreading out all over the place like Jabba the Hut. I may need to work harder to compliment people, gravid or not. It can really make someone’s day!
2. I am not ashamed to park in the “expectant mother” parking spot at Publix. I thought I would be way too cool for that but nope! I’m embracing it and taking advantage of it for all it’s worth. I think it basically sits there empty most of the time anyway, so what the heck?
3. I am sorry to all my friends who got pregnant before me and for whose baby showers I bought cute clothes. I promise to only buy practical things for baby showers from now on. Breast milk bags? Yep. I will buy them for you because I now appreciate that these are what you really need.
4. I will shake off any comments which were meant to be harmless but came out wrong. I had my first comment about me being “advanced maternal age” the other day when, unsolicited, the furniture lady reassured me everything would be fine and that she was 42 when she had her first baby. Actually, for the most part, everyone has asked if this is my first baby. Maybe that’s another trick people who have kids have learned to make a bloated preggo lady feel good, but it works. I’m going to start using it.
Practice sentences: You’re pregnant? Wow! You look great! Is this your first baby?